Collie the Flower

RUN COLLIE RUN!

2009-01-25T05:54:00.000-08:00

Gosh, it has been forever since I last posted! Sorry guys, I've been studying for SATs. Anyway, I've been bringing Collie to the garden for leashless runs lately and he LOVES it. A LOT. The good thing is that he follows me when I stroll about in the garden and does not wander too far off! What a good boy.

Anyway, this isn't the first time I brought Collie to run. I've brought him there numerous times but I kept forgetting to bring a camera. Finally remembered today!!!
Here are some pictures:

Collie is BALD!!!

2008-12-20T21:15:00.000-08:00

We sent Collie to the groomers yesterday cause his fur and nails were getting too long. So the groomer came to pick him up at 11am and he was off. Honestly, I was more worried for the groomer than Collie as I knew how aggressive Collie gets when bathing and cutting nails. If Collie killed the groomer, then he would have to be put down, and that would suck!

Then at around 3.30pm, I heard the van driving in and sure enough, it was the groomer's van. I could not wait to see what has become of Collie. Then he emerged from the van, all white and bald. It was hilarious. He looked terribly skinny, and seemed also embarrassed! I thought he looked like a white Doberman too. And his ears, which used to look puny, where the most prominent thing on his body now. Beiru was right, he looked indeed like a RAT. It kinda felt like the groomer returned a different dog also.

The weirdest thing was, the groomer told us that he did not struggle or bite when they were bathing and shaving him. WHAT?!?! The only way that could happen was if they had tranquilised him. And they didn't. It was a miracle. The groomer said that we were probably too soft on Collie, so he thought he could kinda 'bully' us. Argh, that stupid dog. Should have been firm with him from the start! Now, as advised by the groomer, we hit his snout with a rolled up newspaper if he bites. It is amusing when he slightly tilts his head and closes his eyes to brace for the newspaper whack.

So anyway here are some before and after pictures of Collie. Oh, if you're wondering why is there a chain around Collie's neck, it is because while I was in Australia, he got really naughty so my parents decided to confine him to a spot in our house. We should have done that since he was a puppy according to an article I read. We really screwed up big time raising Collie and now, he's a reprobate.

BEFORE

AFTER: They didn't shave his face so it looks like he's wearing a mask

Collie moping on the table

Collie's violent streak

2008-12-19T00:41:00.000-08:00

Collie bites. Literally. Did I mention that he scratches as well? I got scratched and bitten by him a few times. Beats me why he's become so aggressive, especially so, after I came back from Australia. Absence makes the heart fonder so they say. Maybe Collie's feelings manifests in aggression.

It must be qualified though, that Collie is not "rabid" aggressive, he's more "barky barky, come play with me, dammit" aggressive.

Me scaredy doggie. Doggie bitey bitey.

Shaun came over today and Collie slobbered all over his arm. While he was entertaining Collie, Collie was good enough to be quiet and drooly. But when the both of us stepped back and looked at Collie, he started barking and growling again, albeit with a wagging tail. Strange, dogs.

Anyone want to get piercings? Collie will help, free of charge. For Pubic piercings, appointments need to be made prior.

- Shaun

コリー is officially a eunuch!!!

2008-11-24T04:36:00.000-08:00

If you haven't noticed, コリー is Collie's Japanese name! Thanks Sufan for translating it for me! Anyway, last Tuesday I brought Collie to the vet to get him neutered, aka castration aka getting Collie balls cut off. He has been really really horny this week, trying to hump everyone and everything and I thought neutering him would be best for him and everyone. I had to persuade my parents though, they didn't want to neuter him because they wanted some baby Collies, but the thought of that scares the hell out of me. I can hardly handle one Collie, not to mention two... or five! Plus, where would we find a bitch?

It seemed like Collie knew that he was going to get neutered. Prior to leaving, he kept licking his balls, as if kissing them goodbye and on the way to the vet, he became extremely restless and kept whining. We finally arrived at about 9.30am and I settle the bills and left him there. The vet told me that I could pick him up in the evening.

So I went back in the evening and I thought he would be all weak and feeble from the surgery but he was astoundingly conscious and... normal. I thought I had to carry him all the way home but he could actually walk, and pull me along! The vet told me I couldn't play or bathe Collie the next 10 days which was sad as I was leaving for Australia the following week. I was even given a certificate for Collie's castration! Cool man! And hence the title, コリー is officially a eunuch!!!

Collie loves my sauce-less, taste-less, steamed chicken meat pasta!!!

2008-11-15T23:28:00.000-08:00

I cooked this!

Collie loves it! And everything else...

Either Collie is pretending to be dead... or he is that bored.

Collie nearly eats a MOLE!

2008-11-11T03:14:00.000-08:00

OMG. Just now while walking Collie at the garden, we saw a MOLE!!! I'm not really sure what kind of mole it was, but since it kinda looks like a rat, it must be a mole rat! The one in Kim Possible. Not that I watch it anymore. No, it wasn't all cute and stuff; cartoons are MISLEADING. It looked more like my grandma's hand.

So anyway, I saw the mole first, under a tree. I'd no idea why it came out of its hole but my first reaction was 'HOLY MOLY!' (pun intended), and the next was to leave ASAP before Collie sees it and gobbles it up.

But alas, Collie spotted it. It was moving quite fast, for a mole. Predictably, he went for it, but luckily, the mole was fast enough to escape his clutches. Phew, I don't think raw mole meat would make a nutritious dinner. Eww.

But still, A MOLE! What are the chances of a mole coming out of its humble abode - and me walking past at the very exact moment - and turning my head to look down at very spot the mole was at? Ms Kuah, you could calculate this probability. :)

And... this is how Collie sleeps.

Collie stars in a movie

2008-10-27T02:41:00.000-07:00

It's been ages since I last updated this blog. I can already see cobwebs appearing. I'll post a movie of Collie just to clear some of the cobwebs.

Title: Collie eats kibbles

Starring: Collie and my hand

Director, writer and producer: Me

No animals were hurt making this movie.

Collie's scariest walk. EVER!

2008-10-07T04:34:00.001-07:00

Oh jeez. Just came back from the scariest walk ever. EVER! EVER EVER EVERRRR! Collie can vouch for it. First off, instead of taking him to the park like I usually do (it's getting boring), I walked Collie on a different route today. We went to the sports complex nearby. The rain had just stopped so it was kinda wet and thanks to Collie, we got really wet. He slipped on a puddle of water and splashed it all over my feet! So after that I was like what the heck and didn't try to avoid stepping into puddles of water. Anyway, on our way back, Collie and I spotted this huge black dog (I think it's a mongrel) around 50m in front of us! It had a red collar on but wasn't leashed. So I stopped and held back Collie, who was struggling to run towards the dog. Then the dog started to cross the road to the other side of the pavement and I started to walk ahead cautiously. [climax] Suddenly, the scary black dog turned, saw Collie and started charging towards us! I thought there was an owner around monitoring it 'cause it had a collar but apparently, it was 'stray', and all I could think of was to RUN. My mind was racing, what was the dog gonna do? Bite Collie? Eat Collie? Or worse, rape Collie? I can't really recall if Collie had started running too, but at the speed I was going, he was either running really fast, or being dragged along (since he was leashed). This picture says it all. (It's a reenactment).

After sprinting about 100m (I'm quite confident we beat Usain Bolt's timing), I looked back and luckily, the black dog gave up. Not sure if it really gave up though, it looked distracted smelling something on the ground. Then on the other side of the road, a golden-brown mongrel appeared from the bushes. I was stuck. I couldn't advance forward 'cause the black dog was in front and I couldn't cross the road 'cause the golden-brown mongrel was on the other side. So I waited. And Collie had ample time to recuperate from all the sprinting. After awhile, the black dog crossed the road once again and rendezvoused with the golden-brown dog, probably his mate. Phew! What a walk!

Collie has also been very naughty lately! He chewed up my slipper. And it was a nice slipper!!! Yeah Terrence, I agree, this is real tragic. What am I gonna do with one slipper left?! AHHHH!!! *puts gun in mouth*

Don't act like nothing happened!!!

Collie's going through Puberty!

2008-09-30T04:00:00.000-07:00

I came home from school today and noticed that Collie was having a massive erection. No, it's not just any ordinary erection, he had two rock hard bulges protruding from near the base of his doggyhood. My first reaction was like 'Holy crap, what on earth happened to your nuts?' Then I noticed that those bulges weren't his balls, his puny doggy-jewels were much further back! So then the next thing which came to my mind was that some testicle-looking tumour was growing on Collie's doggyhood!

Random picture of 2 golf balls which has nothing to do with this post

OMG! What should I do? Call the vet? But then Collie's too young to have a tumour! He's not even one year old (in dog years)! It's like diagnosing a 3 year old kid with breast cancer. Totally absurd! So I turned to Google, my best friend. One quick search and I got my answer. Basically, this perturbed (and hilarious too) guy who found the very same lump on his dog posted this question on Yahoo! Answers and some dog expert (thank you!) answered him.

His question:

My 7month old french bulldog/pug mix has a weird lump in his penis. Its almost like another set of balls? Im going be getting him fixed in a few weeks. But what would cause this. They are very hard and don't seem to be bothering him. Sometimes they are more noticeable than other times. But just noticed today. His Testicles did drop so its not that?Please not smart #$% replies only serious ones please. He is going to the bathroom fine and isn't acting any different. What should I do?

Dog expert's reply:

dogs have a bulbous gland on the penile shaft that swells when excited or stimulated. when dogs breed they TIE the male and female sty tied for quite a while and this bulbous gland helps keep the male inside the female. it is VERY normal and will not be removed when neutered, after the neuter it can take anythign from a couple of weeks to a couple of months for some of the sexual dominat behaviours to subside, but after hes all healed up the appearance of this lump in the shaft shoudl decrease. and THANK YOU for getting him neutered

Hey hey! New trivia for today! And welcome, all you vet wannabes out there. Phew, I'm relieved Collie isn't going to die anytime soon!

P.S. Incase some of you were wondering... no, I did not take a picture of Collie's 'tumour'.

Collie Drops His First Tooth!

2008-09-23T05:44:00.000-07:00

Collie just dropped his first milk tooth! This means that the second phase of his teething stage is starting soon! AHHHH!!! But at the same time, it means that it's gonna end soon too! Can't wait!!! Here's a picture of it

It's not really one tooth, but like 3-4 teeth stuck together or something

Anyway, I recently posted some pictures of Collie on a Golden Retriever Forum asking for their opinions on Collie's breed. Many thought Collie looked like a pure GR, but some actually thought he looked like a GR/Collie mix! Wow! I mean, what are the chances? I named him Collie without knowing that he might be half Collie, but he might indeed be a half Collie! So Collie's in fact a Collie! Strangely enough, no one said he looked like a fox. That said, behold the new Collie Equation!

Collie meets a Maltese!

2008-09-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

I brought Collie to the park for his daily walk once again and once again, he stumbled upon an army of ants. Only this time they were red and BIGGER. Then, he went berserk once again... (refer to my previous post).

Anyway, this time, we saw another dog at the park! (Well, I saw the dog first, tried to tell Collie about it but he was too pre-occupied chewing on grass, but eventually it caught Collie's attention). So Collie kept staring at the dog and the owner soon saw Collie and me and cordially signaled for us to go over. The dog was tiny, white and leash-less. Wow! I truly admire owners who can walk their dogs leash-less. It's like... I can't really find any analogy for it but it's just plain cool! So we went over and Collie and the dog did their thing: sniffing up one another's ass, walking in circles, trying to hump one another. (The dog actually managed to hump Collie's head). Because the dog was so tiny (Collie was 3 times bigger), I asked the owner if her dog was a Chihuahua. It sure looked like one, judging by the size of it. However, it was, in fact, a shaven Maltese! It kinda made sense. Malteses only look bigger than Chihuahuas because of all their long fur. Whereas Chihuahuas are somewhat 'naked'. Here's the closest picture of the Maltese I can find on the net:

He was more shaven and smaller than this. The owner also mentioned that he is 9 years old.

Then when the owner and the dog started to leave the park, Collie went ballistic! He kept barking and whimpering and tried to chase the dog. Of course I tried restraining him but the part of the collar where I clipped the leash to broke and he darted! The owner and dog was already long gone so he couldn't find them (phew!) and I managed to catch up with him and brought him home. So yeah... that's about it.

In other news, Collie loves cheese. Big time. I have even made the word 'Cheese' his call function, which, according to Xingjie, could be a life-saver. Here's a picture of Collie's cheese:

You can actually see part of his paw at the bottom right-hand corner.

It's quite a miniscule amount of cheese I admit but dogs are lactose intolerant and can't take too much salt. This is part of his cheese routine where I make Collie sit, lie down then lie on his back and I'll put the cheese slowly into his mouth.

Here's a video from TED on Dog-friendly dog training. Quite an interesting video for dog owners.

Collie vs. Ants

2008-09-15T05:04:00.000-07:00

I brought Collie to the park yesterday morning and it was one of itchiest walks ever! I brought my camera along this time so here are some pictures. First, here are some pictures of Collie at the over-head bridge.

Collie looking at a potential prey getting away.

Collie wanting to eat greenery but not being able to.

Collie have suicidal thoughts after not being able to eat anything.

Ok, so luckily there were railings to prevent Collie from jumping. When we got to the park, alas, the first thing Collie stepped on was a huge army of ants! It wasn't just one family, it was probably few generations of ants on the ground!

It's quite hard to see the small ants so you'd have a to squint a little. The big ones are much more conspicuous, and deadly.

Collie was trotting all over that. Inevitably, some climbed on him and he started panicking and went berserk. He was rubbing his paws and face and basically his whole belly on the grass! (Ever seen a hamster taking a sand bath?) Frankly, it was kinda interesting watching him do that, though I felt a tad guilty taking pleasure from Collie's misery. Yes, I managed to take a picture, but it doesn't do any justice to the hilarity of the whole act! A HD video would have sufficed.

DAMN ANTS!!! Imma eat chiu all next time!

Weirdly enough, Collie didn't attempt to eat any of those ants as I had predicted.

Collie Stinks!

2008-09-07T01:24:00.001-07:00

Collie basically smells like a concoction of sweat, mud, saliva, pee, rain and doggy odour. Yes, I gave him a bath last week as usual, but because I've been bringing him out so much this week, and also because he isn't much of a clean freak either, he has caused some serious air pollution at home. Yay! I've been dying to give that little fox a big bath since Tuesday (he got really dirty at Sufan's place)... and I can finally do so! (I read you shouldn't bathe younger dogs too often, so yeah.)

Bathing Collie is as difficult as Inorganic Chemistry! I don't even know where and how to start explaining. He is just.. all over the place. And I get as wet as him too. So to keep things simple, I'll just post a few pictures with captions.

Step 1: Confine the area or Collie will vanish in a blink of an eye

Step 2: Spray water all over him (oddly, he tends to stand on that narrow white platform at the side for some reason even though it's still as wet as the floor)

Step 3: Put shampoo all over him. I know, he looks really thin when he's wet.

Step 4: Rinse him once more and dry him a little and he's good to go! Can't wait, eh?

Step 5: Reward him. I wouldn't say that's much of a reward because what you see in the picture is actually the base of some raw veggie that my mum was cooking, but whatever floats his boat! (told you Collie's a vegan)

Step 6: Ah, what could be better than just taking a nap after a nice (not really), warm bath?

Collie the Vegan

2008-09-05T04:31:00.001-07:00

Phew, just came back from the longest dog walk in my life! Well, it wasn't really 100% walking, Collie was lying around eating grass most of the time and sniffing things as usual. I brought him to a nearby park and it took almost 20mins to get there because he was so occupied with sniffing rubbish and passerbys on the way.

At the park, he actually laid down on the grass patch and started munching on some luscious grass blades and leaves. I'm not sure if the taste of grass and leaves are actually appealing to him or he is just that hungry. I'll bring my camera along next time to take pictures of him eating grass.

Collie also has a new pastime! Chasing birds (well, actually mynahs and sparrows only because that's all there is). I'm not sure if he has actually seen a bird up-close before, but he sure wants to... badly. As expected, the birds flew away before Collie could get close to them but I'd really like to know what would happen if Collie manages to catch one. He's on a short leash now so there's no way he's gonna catch one with me running behind. Gotta train him to walk leash-less soon!

Before I go, here are some random close-up pictures of Collie:

Collie at the stairs

Addy's behind!

Nom Nom Nom!

Does it really look like I'm giving birth to Collie?

The little doggy at the window!

Collie the Biting Machine

2008-09-03T00:17:00.000-07:00

Collie bites A HELL LOT. I understand that he is teething but from what I’ve heard from other dog owners, their dogs didn’t bite so much when they were teething! Another possible reason why Collie might be half fox. Wait, do foxes even bite this much? He must be half beaver then!

Grandma! What sharp teeth you have!

Anyway, not only does he bite stuff, he also bites people! Yes, including me and you! Fret not, he doesn’t bite that much now because I’ve been training him… but still he bites and it’s painful, if not irritating! Too bad the bite wounds on my hands and ear (yes, he bit my ear… TWICE) have healed, if not I’d also upload pictures of them. Just to show you how radical Collie’s biting is…

My secondary (thank god) school A math TYS

The wooden table Collie sleeps next to. He eats the wood he chewed off for supper.

A FAKE nylabone corn chew toy I bought for Collie which he chewed up in less than an hour. Should have read the disclaimer that this toy is only suitable for moderate chewers. There goes my $10.

Holy shit right? And those aren't even half the things he has destroyed! I cannot wait for this whole teething phase, or should I say, nightmare, to end. Which is in about 2-3 months time. Ahhhhh....

Collie vs. Dusty

2008-09-01T18:45:00.000-07:00

I brought Collie to Roujun's house on 26th of August to meet Dusty and boy oh boy they were a hand full! Dusty's a male Terrier/Westie mix and is around 1 year old. When Collie and Dusty met for the first time, they were kinda cautious of each other. They kept walking in circles, attempting to smell one another's butt. Mmmm... I half suspect that both dogs are gay, they just didn't wanna admit it. After 30mins of ass-sniffing, Dusty became a little territorial and started barking at Collie when Collie took his stuffed toys! Collie, being so timid and erratic like he always is, started hopping around the house like a mad kangaroo and weirdly enough, taking sips from Dusty's water bowl after every 3 hops or so.

Obviously the hopping didn't help much and they started wrestling each other. It's funny how when one dog takes a toy, the other will come and risk his life to snatch it away, and then abandon the toy. If I can't have it, you can't have it too!!! And they were fighting so loudly, the neighbours would have thought that we were holding some dog fighting competition! So we put both dogs in the same cage. (Don't ask why we decided to put 2 aggressive, hostile, fighting dogs in the same cage that is only 1m by 1m wide.) But hey, surprisingly it worked! Both calmed down dramatically, Collie even cried, and friendships were forged. Here are some pictures of them in the cage:

Oooh... Kawaii

Dusty looks pissed.

Hand shakes

Emo dogs.

I had to bring Collie to the vet for his 2nd vaccination so after cleaning up his pee thrice, breaking up some more fights and watching Dusty get his bath, I was off! On the way to the vet, Collie gave a sudden and loud bark in the cab for some reason which made the driver jump. It was HILARIOUS, but that's just because we didn't crash.

The wait at the vet was quick! 5mins after I registered, I was in. The vet was nice, he asked how was Collie doing etc, gave him the jabs and all... everything went smoothly. Then he said, "I suspect Collie might not be pure breed." I was initially shocked but then the vet said because Collie's snout was kinda 'streamlined', whereas a Golden Retriever's one is 'strong'. In other words, Collie had a sharper snout than a regular GR. Whoa! This is revelation! From my own observation, Collie's fur also isn't as thick and fluffy as a regular GR's! Though the vet didn't specify which breed Collie might have the genes of, I have a sneaking suspicion that Collie is in fact, half fox! Look at the equation below.

Make sense doesn't it?

Likings and Fears

2008-08-31T06:07:00.000-07:00

First off, Collie has a overwhelming predilection for food (or edible stuff in general). Everything and anything edible is a Collie-magnet. He is perpetually hungry and can never be surfeited, NEVER, NEVER EVER. He has eaten ants, lizards, grass, paper, plastic wrappers, wood, bits of my ear... you name it. Not sure if he actually likes to eat those stuff, or he eats them because he is that hungry... but most of the time, he goes crazy over these few items:

Fake dog bones. They are rock hard. He chews it till it turns really soft, then just gulps the whole thing down. Wow. Approximate eating time: 30mins
Dog kibbles. I give him half a cup 3 times each day. Oh, and the Jacobs biscuit behind is Collie's too. My mum didn't like them so they're now his snack. Approximate eating time (half a cup of dog food): 1min, 1 sqaure biscuit: 20secs

Honey! When my parents are making honey drinks for themselves he would beg for some.

Peanut butter. No surprise here.

He goes crazy over my breakfast, lunch and dinner as well. And because my dining table's kinda low, I need some kind of a barricade to prevent him from getting to my food. If not, he will actually leap on the table and try to steal my food! So over the weeks, I've discovered a few things he is afraid of, and they are a great help when it comes to saving my meal.

Collie's irrational fears:

The Red, White and Blue Hula Hoop of Death
I just put this round my food.

The Sinister Blue Waste-Paper Basket
If my food smells too good and The Red, White and Blue Hula Hoop of Death isn't doing the trick, this would.

The Wooden Rolling Thing
Ok, this is supposed to be his chew toy but it makes some kind of sound when it rolls that scares the shit out of the Collie.

Toddlers/Babies/Infants/Children
One of Collie's most unfounded fears are toddlers, weirdly. He would go bonkers and bark non-stop when the neighbour's baby makes noise and is petrified when he sees people below the height of 1m. I should really put a baby next to my food while eating.

FIRST POST

2008-08-31T05:30:00.000-07:00

OMG. Where do I start?! I bought Collie from some family about 2 months ago (16th July) and that was the happiest day of my life! The family received Collie as a gift, but since they already had 2 other dogs, they decided to give him up, which was... great! So, when I got him, he was tiny, timid and extremely playful. I can still remember him struggling in the cab when we were going home from the previous owner's house. In the next few months, I would learn that he hates cab rides.

Here are some pictures of Collie taken on the first few days (sorry for the poor quality):